


The end justifies the means

by lunaemoth



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Canon Compliant, F/M, Manipulative Relationship, Minor Character Death, Pre-Series, Worldbuilding, life on the ark, of a sort but nothing nefarious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-29
Updated: 2015-01-29
Packaged: 2018-03-09 14:20:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3252947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunaemoth/pseuds/lunaemoth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hiding Octavia from inspections is one thing, finding enough food and distractions for her and her happiness is another. Bellamy learned a lot from his mother, including how to obtain what he needs for his little sister, at all costs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The end justifies the means

**Author's Note:**

> I started this thinking about Bellamy's personality at the start of the series, the way he manipulated the 100 for them to follow him. With the episode on the Blake family, this came to mind, but then Bellamy and the OFC's relationship became more complex and it grew...  
> I only watched the first season yet. You'll need to watch until 1x08 (Bellamy being pardoned by Jaha) for this story.
> 
> I hope you'll like it. Fair warning however: I'm french and this is unbeta-ed. If you see any horrible mistake, feel free to tell me nicely in a comment with a correction and I'll be happy to edit it.

His guard shift had just ended. Bellamy was on his way back to his apartment. He could have spent time in the rec room, maybe find some company for the night, but his thoughts were heavy with more delicate matters. Octavia will soon be fifteen and getting enough rations to feed her was becoming a problem. To be honest, he would rather not know exactly how their mother managed until then, but whatever she did wasn’t sufficient anymore. Thankfully, Octavia had not much of an appetite. Bellamy couldn’t afford to give her part of his ration like he often did when they were kids, not anymore, his work was too straining, he needed every calories he get.

Doing anything which could endanger his position was hazardous. Stealing, swindling, blackmailing… all of those options, even if he could stomp on his principles, were too risky when he was barely at the end of his cadet status. He often had other guards on his back.

Bellamy turned a corner, scratching his jaw and taking note that he had to shave while he pondered his non-existent options. A thump and a “watch out fatty” caught his attention. A man in his late twenties was walking away after colliding with a younger woman. She had dropped a heavy bag and was rubbing her wrist with a scowl. Bellamy reached her and asked casually: “Is everything alright?”

She wasn’t much shorter than him, probably the same age, from some Asian-Caucasian ascendants. She adjusted her glasses on her turned-up nose and smiled very slightly. “Yes, I’m fine, thank you.”

Curious about the bag, Bellamy followed his instincts and chose to linger. He tilted his head in the guy’s direction. “Didn’t seem like a nice fellow.”

She snorted. “That’s a way of putting it. Some people just think that, because you’re rounder than average it means you’re privileged, that you get more rations or something. I just wonder where they were for their lessons about metabolisms and the human body,” she muttered, looking down again at her wrist.

Definitely interested by the rations subject, Bellamy took a step closer, keeping his stance casual with his hands in his pockets. “Yeah, or you can wonder where they look.” He tilted his chin at her wrist. It was really slender. She had big hands and thin fingers. In fact, the only parts of her that weren’t slender were her generous bust, hips and thighs, which brought his remark.

After a short moment of incomprehension, she chortled. “Well, I would say… where most men look.” Her tone was bitter at the end, as she flexed her wrist slowly.

“In that case, he lacked the proper appreciation.” At her startle glance, he shrugged and played it cool to not spook her. “Just saying.”

“I… am not sure how to take this,” she admitted, shifting slightly away from him.

“Like a compliment. Do you need help with that bag?”

“I… uh, thank you then. It’s fine really, I just have to take it to Agro.”

“It’s two sections away,” he noted. “Let me help you, rest your wrist.” He crouched to grab the bag. It probably weighed five or six pounds. “Damn, what’s in that?”

“Fertilizer, fresh from reprocessing.”

“I get it you work in Agro?”

“Yeah, I’m a farmer. That’s why I’m fat you see, I steal aaall your food for myself.” She patted her belly with a very sarcastic tone and expression.

Bellamy smirked. The girl had more wit than he had first thought, and maybe she could give him a few ideas about food… It was worth a shot. “I’m Bellamy, I work in the guard.”

“Yeah, I guessed that at your uniform,” she noted before smiling. “Sorry, I meant to say, hi, nice to meet you, I’m Melinda.”

“Alright then, Melinda, why don’t you tell me what you are doing in Agro if it’s not eating all the food?” He asked with a smirk.

 

*

 

Bellamy went home that evening without a concrete idea of how to get more rations but thinking that Melinda might be a way to get there.

“You’re coming back late,” his mother noted when he stepped in.

Octavia stood up to hug him and he embraced her, kissing her hair.

“Yeah, I met someone on the way. I helped her to carry some fertilizer to Agro. And…” He maintained the suspense to entertain his sister. She was looking at him with bright, curious eyes. “I got to see some of the farms. D’you want me to tell you?”

“Yes! How was it? Were there trees?”

“Trees can’t be grown on the Ark,” their mother countered gently.

“Yeah, trees would blow up the hull, not a good idea,” Bellamy said, smirking. “So, no trees, but plants anyway: lots of seaweeds and soy, some small bushes, healing herbs…”

Octavia clung to him and dragged him to sit next to her on their bed as he described everything he saw. He had gotten good at this. Some said he was one of the best story-tellers, creating vivid stories from a small event, but he had to when his sister was living through him.

 

*

 

Melinda was more fun to hang out with than he expected. He learned a lot from her about the way their rations were produced and nutrition. He probably asked a lot more questions than other people would have been comfortable with, but she didn’t care. She was the kind to be curious of everything, especially sciences, and she took his curiosity in stride.

One day, she brought him to her apartment to show him some of the old books she had inherited from her parents. They had worked in Agro too but they were both dead, her mother from illness and her father from an accident. Bellamy didn’t know much more than that and, to be really honest, he didn’t care.

She was going to open her door when two teenagers ran past them. “Hi Mel!” They shouted before disappearing at the next corner. She rolled her eyes with a small smile and said to Bellamy as she let him enter: “Jasper and Monty. Nice kids, but they’re trouble waiting to happen. If you don’t hear about them sooner or later as a guard, it’ll be a small miracle.”

They sat on the bed side by side as she showed him the books. There were really gorgeous pictures of Earth. Octavia would love them. His fingers twitched on the pages and he shifted closer to Melinda. She stopped in her explanation about berries.

“Could I borrow these for a few days?” He asked softly before lying through his teeth like he was used to: “My mom loves books. She would take care of them.” She hesitated. Books were precious mementos of Earth, very rare in the working class, and they only knew each other for a few weeks, he was asking a lot. “Please,” he insisted.

“You would take really good care of them and not show them to anyone else than your family… you promise?”

“Yeah, promise.”

“Okay then, for a few days.”

He smiled and leaned closer to kiss her on the cheek. “Thanks.”

Their eyes met and her nose brushed against his. They were silent for a few seconds until she only smiled softly and he got the message. He moved back.

Melinda was more ambiguous than the girls he was used to (because he only frequented two types: the girls he slept with and those, off limits, that he met through professional or familial circumstances). He knew she was interested in him but she was also skittish. He was careful to not overstep – he wasn’t going to risk a beneficial relationship for sex – but if he could convinced her… he was pretty sure she would be even more obliging.

He had to be patient… and he wasn’t really good at that.

 

*

 

As predicted, Octavia loved the books. Arms crossed, Bellamy leaned against the wall with a pleased smile as she leafed through her new treasures. Her distractions were few and far between. With those books, she could at least entertain herself for a few days while he and their mom were outside.

“What did you have to do for those?” His mother asked softly as she stopped next to him.

“Nothing. As I said, a friend lent them to me.”

“And this friend didn’t ask for anything in exchange?” Aurora Blake was not naïve and she wasn’t used to good-will or selfless gestures either. She looked at him doubtfully.

“Nothing,” Bellamy repeated calmly.

She shifted, thoughtful, looking at her daughter's beaming face. “Well, then… this friend of yours is the kind you don’t let go.”

“I know.” She had taught him the value of keeping useful people close… whatever the cost.

“But Bellamy… if someone ever offers you a deal you’re not ready to take… come to me first, alright?” With a hand on his forearm, she looked at him closely.

He nodded slowly, pleasantly surprised. She had become more distant as he grew older.

“Bellamy! What’s that?” Octavia asked, pointing at a picture.

He went to sit next to her and ruffled her hair. “It’s a greenhouse, O. It’s used to keep the plants warm and protected from rain. They have something like that in Agro, to make soy grow faster.”

“Did you see plants like those?” She asked, pointing at red leaves.

“Nah, they were more boring than that,” he commented with a smirk. “Here, I think I saw pictures of some of them…” Octavia leaned against him with her head on his shoulder, as he took back the book. He relaxed slowly with a pleased smile.

 

*

 

“So, coming to the party, good idea or good idea?”

Melinda chuckled, her arms tightening around his neck as they danced to the music. Bellamy had managed to take her to the New Year party and everything was going on exactly like he had hoped. She was relaxed and closer to him than she ever allowed before.

“Good idea,” she admitted before kissing his cheek.

He shifted to intercept it. She startled slightly but allowed him to brush their lips together. Slowly, making eye-contact to be sure she was willing, he kissed her, a hand on her cheek to adjust the angle despite her glasses and caress her skin with his thumb. When “Happy new year” sounded out around them, he was too busy to care, but she moved back and he obediently broke their kiss.

“Happy new year,” she murmured against his lips.

He smiled. “Well, it doesn’t start too badly, I’d say.” She laughed and bashfully hid her face against his neck. He ran his fingers through her long black hair and looked around at the people dancing and hugging each other. “Do you want another drink?”

“No, I’m fine. This stuff is way too strong for me.”

It was, but it was also free booze, which meant that Octavia could have his water share for the evening. “Good, I’ll take your second glass then. I already had both of mine.”

She laughed and nudged him on the shoulder. “I see how it is. Well, don’t count on me to drag you back to your rooms. They’re at the other end!”

“It’s okay, I’ll crash at yours,” he answered instinctively before realizing it might be too much for Melinda. He glanced at her. She was blushing but didn’t seem alarmed. Well, look at that, maybe he’d get lucky tonight.

She asked for her second glass to the makeshift bar and obligingly gave it to him when they were away from the guard on duty (and could that guy be more obvious with his wink? Bellamy will probably have all his colleagues on his back tomorrow about the girl he spent the night with…).

Bellamy leaned against the wall as he sipped moonshine and put an arm around her waist when she leaned against him, staring at Earth through the window. She slipped her arm around his chest and the other hand on his shoulder to snuggle closer. He hid a satisfied smile behind his glass. Yep, he was definitely staying with her tonight. He finished his drink in a last swallow. “What the hell do they make this stuff with?”

She snickered. “You don’t want to know.”

“Fair enough. Want to get out of here?”

She nodded shyly and he kissed her briefly before leaving her to put his glass away. When he came back, she was swaying to the music. The movement of her hips mesmerized him. It was the first time he saw her in a dress and, for something second-hand, it fit her well. He took a second to appreciate the sight before embracing her from the back and kissing her cheek. Her scent distracted him and he nuzzled her ear and neck. Her hand ran through his hair, holding him close. She leaned her head sideways to show her neck.

“I think you drank that moonshine a bit too fast,” she remarked, amused.

“You might be right,” he admitted, unconcerned. “I shouldn’t be left alone in those long corridors, I guess.”

“Seems so,” she agreed easily, tilting her head to get a kiss. He indulged her and held her closer.

 

They barely needed five minutes to get to her rooms. She hadn’t let go from his hand. He didn’t mind. Her skin was cool and soft.

When they turned in her hallway, they founded two teenagers huddled in a corner. They startled when they caught sight of them and hid something behind their back.

“Jasper, Monty, what are you doing here?” Mel asked with a frown.

“Uh… you know, hanging out,” the Asian boy answered.

“Hey! You’ve found a buddy! Cool for you, Mel!” The other one commented with a thumbs up.

Melinda sighed but opened her door. Before entering, she pointed at them and said: “If I hear anything, we’ll have a problem.”

They raised their hands. “Not a sound and we won’t gossip, promise!” They were still looking at Bellamy defiantly, probably remembering his guard uniform from the few times they crossed paths.

Bellamy, hands in his pockets, shrugged and smirked. “I’m off-duty. Happy new year, guys.”

Before he could follow Melinda inside, she stuck her head through the door, waved and said: “Oh yeah! I forgot! Happy new year, guys!”

They answered back. When Bellamy closed the door behind him, he heard: “Is she drunk? She seemed happy-drunk.”

Melinda sat down on her bed to take off her shoes, her glasses carefully left on her nightstand. He sprawled next to her. She nudged him with her elbow. “Come on, strip, then you can laze around.”

With an arm around her waist, he pulled her to him so he could kiss her cheek. “Want to help me with that?”

She nudged his foot with hers. “Shoes. Then we can talk.”

He straightened up with a dramatic sigh and removed his shoes. Then he lifted Melinda further on the bed to allow him to straddle her. He gave her a mischievous smile. “Can we talk now?”

“Sure,” she replied, a hand on his hip, her hair spread around her face. “I wanted to tell you… I’m… I never...” She stammered, blushing slightly.

“You’re a virgin,” he concluded for her. “Yeah, I guessed.” He lowered himself on top of her, putting most of his weight on his arms on each side of her, cocooning her without being stifling. She seemed mollified but still cowed. He nuzzled her cheek. “You’ve an IUD, anyway, right?” They were mandatory for birth control until a couple was ready to have their only child.

“Yeah.” She shivered and leaned towards him.

“Okay then, do you trust me for the rest?”

Their eyes met. She had dark blue eyes, inherited from her Caucasian mother from what he knew. Behind her glasses, they looked mostly dark but from so close they were quite fascinating… or maybe he was a little too drunk.

“Yeah,” she answered, pulling him out of his daydream.

“Good. Just tell me if something doesn’t feel right.”

“You have too much clothes on, that doesn’t feel right.”

Taken aback, Bellamy burst into laughter and had to lean his forehead against her shoulder to catch his breath. When he had realized she was inexperienced, he had expected more awkwardness. He kissed her jaw. “Let’s remedy that then.”

They undressed each other in a frenzy of clumsy movements which unsurprisingly meant that Bellamy hit something in the narrow space. He stopped when he felt something fell and blinked when he saw what the metal board revealed.

“Shit,” Melinda swore. She leant on her elbows.

Bellamy was sitting on his heels, bare-chested, and they stared in silence at the small plants lined up in what was supposed to be an air vent. He could see some small red berries. They looked like… “Strawberries?” He stared at Melinda who fidgeted under him.

She finally caved, whined and tugged on his wrist. “Don’t say anything to anyone, please. My father set it up and I didn’t want to– I didn’t know what–” She was panicking, starting to hyperventilate.

He rise himself on his knees to give her more space and cupped her cheek with his hand. “Hey, hey, breathe Mel, breathe. It’s okay. I won’t tell anyone.”

“Y–you won’t?” She slowly calmed down.

“Cultivating plants is not a crime,” he pointed out. Stealing the seeds to do it was and, even if it was her father doing, it meant she was an accomplice, but details… Bellamy wasn’t going to tell anyone about this when he could take advantage of it. “It’s fine.” He took one of her hands in his, their fingers joining together. She was holding on tightly. He kissed her slowly and stroked her neck and cheek until she was completely relaxed.

Then they started back where they stopped and he did his best to take her mind off this. As for himself… he had already everything well-planned.

A few minutes later, her reactions to his ministrations convinced him he was making the good choice. He never had a serious relationship before (preferring to sleep with whoever he wanted whenever it was more useful or convenient), but this could have more than one advantage. For a virgin, she had good instincts and more sensuality than he gave her credit for. Being her boyfriend shouldn’t be a hassle, especially when her humor appeared at the most unexpected moments.

“Yeah, I know Bell, my vagina and I are familiar. It’ll probably be more comfortable if you don’t try to impale me though, it’s leaning backwards.” She blinked at him, uncomprehending, when he started to laugh. “What? What did I say?” She poked his pectoral when he didn’t stop laughing and whined: “Bell…”

He nudged her back, stroking her hip on the way. “You’re a mood-killer.”

With an eyebrow raised, she looked around. “Oh, yeah, excuse-me, I forgot the candles and the music. Wait a sec.” She bent over the bed and Bellamy got a little distracted by the view of her backside.

“Mel, I was kidding. What are you doing?” He chuckled, trying to get her back under him, but she dragged with her what looked like a radio or hi-fi system. She fumbled with the controls until a soft sound covered the usual hum of the engines. “… Birds?”

Melinda smiled and put down the radio on her nightstand. “When I was little and I couldn’t sleep, my dad made me listen to this.” She snuggled against him and kissed his jaw. “Is that better for the mood?”

He looked at her in awe. “How many treasures do you have in this room?”

She chuckled. “I think that’s it, you basically know all my secrets. It wasn’t much, was it?”

With a hand around her waist to keep her close, Bellamy kissed her softly. “Wait… where are the candles?”

She laughed openly. “I’m not _that_ much of a delinquent!” Candles and any sort of flames were forbidden to avoid accidents and consumption of oxygen, after all.

“Damn, here goes my illusion.” Bellamy grabbed a pillow, put it under the small of her back and guided her to lie down. Her chest curved, showing off her breasts. She squirmed, blushing under his stare. He brushed a hand against her nipple and sucked on the skin of her breast, satisfied by her moan. His fingers were teasing her clit when he paused. “Sorry… what’s that sound?”

She tilted her head back to listen. “That’s rain. Birds, the wind in the trees and rain, there should be some insects afterwards, some hoots for a night atmosphere, and after that it will change to the sound of the sea. It’s in loop.” She stroked his hair and smiled softly. “I think my plan backfired on me. Do you want to stop?”

“What? No. I was just…”

“Yeah, I get it. It’s not the same than when we heard it during our lessons, right?” He nodded and she stroked his back, sending shivers down his spine. “We can listen to it again later if you want.”

He groaned when she shifted, rubbing inadvertently her thigh against his erection. “Yeah,” he approved in a strained voice. “Sounds like a plan.” He focused back on the matter at hand.

 

As their heavy breathing slowed down, they shifted on the small bed, with him on his back and her leaning on her side against him, one of her leg and arm on top of him. He stroked her skin slowly and nuzzled her temple. “Was that like how you imagine it?”

She hummed and curled up closer. “Better. I heard it was supposed to hurt the first time.”

He snorted. “Bullshit. That’s the excuse of duffers. If I ever hurt you, you tell me right away, ‘kay?” He yawned and rubbed his eyes. He could feel her raising her head and looking at him but played it cool and closed his eyes.

“Do you– Bellamy, are we together? Like, a couple?” She finally managed to ask.

“Sure,” he answered calmly.

“Oh. Ok.”

He opened his eyes just enough to see her hide a smile against his shoulder and shifted, satisfied. As he drifted off, the sound of hoots sounded out. “Mel, I’m not gonna be able to sleep with that.”

She giggled. “That part is weird, right? All those animals, it’s almost spooky. Anyway, I should save the battery.” She bended in an awkward position to turn off the hi-fi system and he kept her from falling with a firm arm around her waist. She snuggled back against him. With the familiar hum of the engines and her warmth, he fell asleep quickly.

 

In the morning, as he dressed, he glanced at the plants. Melinda hadn’t tried to hide them once they were awake. She had pushed the metal board and turned on a light above them, explaining it was a UV light to help them grow.

“What do you do with them?” he asked.

“Well, silly, what do you want me to do with them? I eat them, of course. One each morning.”

“You keep them for you?”

“Yes. If anyone else found out, I’ll be in deep shit.” She pulled her hair out of her collar and followed his stare. She smiled softly. “Do you want one?”

Hook, line and sinker. He stayed as calm as he could. “Can I?”

“Sure!” She beamed at him and crawled on the bed.

Bellamy indulged in the sight for a few seconds before looking at her raising each strawberry to choose the ripest. She took two of them and carefully rubbed them against the soft fabric of her T-shirt. She offered the biggest to him with a smile and he took it reverently, turning the berry between his fingers, appreciating its color and shape before taking a small bite. The sugary taste surprised him but it was the fruity aspect which was novel. He licked his lips and stared at the raspberry in wonder.

Melinda laughed softly and beamed at him when he glanced at her to glare. “Go on, eat it, I can give you more later if you want.”

He ate it in two more small bites, savoring it while it lasted. Melinda wasn’t looking away while she ate her own and he found himself watching her closely as she licked her fingers. Damn it, since when fruits were sexy? That wasn’t in the books.

Bellamy groaned and leaned forward to catch her lips and lick into her mouth. This taste was going to be addictive, he could feel it, and damn if that wasn’t an unexpected backfire – but not an unwelcome one. They crawled back on the bed and kissed fervently until they were breathless. Melinda chuckled and he knew she found his reaction amusing. He nuzzled her cheek and couldn’t help but smile too. “Shut up,” he murmured with humor.

“Oh, come one, something that can rattle you like that? Let me enjoy it! Now I know what to do if I want sex.”

It was his time to chuckle. “Sweetheart, if you want sex you just have to ask.” His hand slid downwards to cup her crotch. His forefinger found easily the most sensitive parts and he smirked when her breath hitched. “How do you feel?”

“I– I don’t know. It’s a bit weird, not really sore, just uncomfortable.”

He hummed. “We’ll wait a few days before doing it again.” But there was absolutely no way she was keeping him away from those strawberries as long as that. Guess he’ll have to introduce her to other sexual acts.

Geez, this was stupid, now he was addicted to strawberries.

 

*

 

A few weeks later, his mother and he were standing in line to get their rations when Melinda took place behind them. She smiled shyly, glancing at his mom and obviously wondering how she was supposed to behave. Aurora noticed his change of demeanor and turned around.

“Mom, this is Melinda Jung. We’re together. Mel, my mother, Aurora Blake.” He introduced them and watched as they shook hands.

“Pleased to meet you, Mrs Blake.”

“Melinda… Would you be the friend who lent him the books on Earth’s plants?”

“Yes. Yes, it’s me. I heard you liked them?”

“I did, absolutely,” Aurora answered softly, sending an approving glance to her son. Well, apparently, his choice of girlfriend had her endorsement. He wasn’t sure if it was because Melinda was polite or so generous, though. Since he was with her, he could afford to eat less of his rations; his mom had clearly noticed and was making her own conclusions. “Thank you, it was much appreciated.”

“I’m glad.” Melinda shifted closer to him. He absently put an arm around her waist and kissed her hair while keeping an eye on his mom. She was staring intently at Melinda and he could see the cogs turning in her head.

Her plan soon became clear when, after they got their rations, she said: “You should enjoy your time off, Bellamy. I’ll take care of that water supply problem, go and have fun.” She smiled at Melinda and left without waiting for an answer.

“What was she talking about?” Melinda asked.

She was lying through her teeth, he answered in his thoughts. They had no problem of water, but he got the message. “We don’t have water since this morning. We’re the only ones on the block and it’s a pain to get maintenance to move.”

“Oh, that sucks. You can stay with me if you want. I can spare a bit of water.”

She was way too generous and trusting, and his mother was just as bad as he. Bellamy smiled softly and kissed his girlfriend’s forehead. “Thanks Mel. That would be perfect.”

 

He was the first to wake up in the morning. He stared at the ceiling thoughtfully and convinced himself once again that he was paying her back by being a perfect boyfriend. That had to count for something…

Yes, he decided, she was happy with him, that had to be enough.

 

*

“Why are you making this face?”

Bellamy looked up at Melinda. She was only in her underwear, which would be enough for him to get her naked any other time, but he was distracted. “It’s my mother’s birthday.” Octavia’s, in fact.

“Is it? Do you do something special with her?”

Not for his mother but for Octavia they tried to. “I’d like to give her a gift but I’ve no idea what.”

Melinda hummed and pushed him back on the bed to straddle his lap. He was used to this position and he secured her, arms around her waist, without thinking about it. Last year, he got Octavia a book about animals. It had been a good bargain with another guard wishing to switch shifts. This time he hadn’t found such an opportunity.

“I’ve an idea. She likes plants, right?” Melinda pointed behind him. When he looked, he only saw the strawberry plants under the UV lights.

“Strawberries? Yeah, it can be a good idea…” She would definitely love it, just like him. His addiction had dimmed a bit but licking strawberry juice from Melinda’s skin was still one of his little weaknesses.

“No, I mean, you can take one plant.”

“What?”

She shrugged. “You’ll have to hide it well, but you’re a guard, no-one bothers you anyway. Oh, you’ll need a UV lamp too, but it’s okay, I have two.”

He gaped at her and looked back at the plants. That… would make Octavia’s day, no, year... A plant of her own… that was a perfect gift. “You wouldn’t mind?”

Melinda shrugged. “I can grow another one if I want. It’s easy.” She frowned. “But you really have to be careful during the inspections.”

Bellamy stopped himself from laughing at her face. The Blakes _owned_ the fucking inspections. Instead, he kissed her thoroughly and decided he should do something about that beautiful sight on his lap.

 

*

 

Octavia was ready to jump out of her skin. Bellamy smirked at her as he put his jacket down on the table. “You ready, O?”

“Yes! Come on! What is it? Another book?”

“Nope. Better.”

“Better? Uh… Music?”

“Nope. Better.”

“What? What is better than that? Mom, what is he talking about?”

Aurora watched them from her bunk where she was mending socks. She had already given Octavia her gift: it was usually clothes and this year it was a dress. “I wonder too.”

Bellamy carefully undid his makeshift bag and brought out the UV lamp first. Octavia frowned, obviously disappointed. His smirk widened a bit more. “Ready? Here it is…” He unveiled the plant and watched avidly as Octavia gaped and threw herself on the table to watch it from every angle.

“A plant! It’s a plant! It has berries! What is it? Raspberries?”

“Strawberries. Here, you can eat one, but only one every day.” He picked one and rubbed it as Melinda showed him before offering it to his sister.

Her face as she took the first bite was one of wonder and elation. “That’s… _so good_!” She ate the rest and hummed around her mouthful.

Pleased, Bellamy laughed and let her appreciate the discovery. His mother caught his eye and gestured for him to join her.

“Melinda gave you that,” she stated.

“Yes.”

“This is… huge, Bellamy.”

“I know.”

“Do you? What did she ask in exchange?”

He shifted nervously. “Nothing.”

His mom didn’t seem surprised, she just sighed. “I don’t think you realize the trust she–”

“I do,” he interrupted, annoyed that she questioned it and stirred his own guilt.

“She loves you.” He froze as his mother looked into his eyes, unwavering. “Love is double-edged. It serves you today. Be careful it isn’t your end tomorrow.”

Bellamy was unable to answer. Fortunately, he didn’t need to.

“Who loves Bellamy?” Octavia interrupted.

“Melinda, his girlfriend,” their mom calmly answered. “She’s the one who gave him the plant.”

“Really? You didn’t tell me you had a girlfriend! How is she? Is she pretty? Did she tell you how to take care of it? Can I have more strawberries than there are on it? There are only five, I counted them! Mom, do you want one?”

Bellamy’s smile came back slowly and he ran his fingers through his baby sister hair. She was his responsibility, his priority. The rest didn’t matter. Not now.

 

*

 

“Hey, Blake, isn’t that your girl?”

Bellamy turned around to follow his colleague’s stare. At the other end of the hallway, Melinda was carrying a bag of fertilizer and pointedly kept it between her and a guy with a lecherous grin.

“Yeah, she is. Excuse me a sec…”

“Sure. Go teach that guy a lesson.”

Bellamy ignored Lukacevic’s smirk and crossed the distance in quick strides. “Is there a problem?” He asked as he came nearer and saw Melinda stepping back. Without waiting for an answer, he adjusted his weapon on his side and put an arm around his girlfriend’s shoulders.

“No, no problem,” the guy promptly replied before moving away as fast as he could.

Melinda snorted and put down her burden. “My savior,” she teased before kissing him. “I didn’t see you for several days. Did your mother like her gift?”

“She loved it,” Bellamy confirmed before changing the subject. “Should I teach you to defend yourself? To pull a punch?”

She shrugged. “I’d accept gleefully if that didn’t mean I would get float. Those guys can’t take no for an answer.” She glanced at his sidearm. “You’re on guard shift. I should leave you to it. Are you coming by later?”

He played with her hair thoughtfully. She wasn’t questioning why he hadn’t come sooner, she just accepted it and looked at him hopefully for a positive answer. Damn… He smiled. “Sure.” It wasn’t his fault if she had unrequited feelings for him, he told himself. It was her mistake, not is. “See you later,” he said after kissing her.

She waved and he went back to Lukacevic. He had been joined by two other guards. Bellamy tensed slightly when he recognized one of his superior, Shumway.

“So, it’s true,” the Lieutenant said. “I heard the rumors but couldn’t believe our Casanova junior was taken. I can hear the broken hearts,” he joked with a smirk.

Bellamy shrugged. “I made no promises to anyone.” Not even to Melinda, he reminded himself. He only committed to an exclusive relationship.

“That’s the smart way to go,” Shumway approved. He watched Melinda walk away. “Who’s the lucky girl?”

“Melinda Jung. She works in Agro.”

“She has a nice rack. Is she any good in the sack?” Lukacevic asked.

Bellamy tensed and glared. Surprisingly, he wasn’t the only one.

“Watch your mouth, Soldier,” Shumway immediately rebuked him.

Lukacevic winced and looked down. His friend, Santos, nudged him. “It’s no wonder you can’t keep a girl. You really need to watch what you say, pal. Watch and learn from Blake.”

Bellamy did his best to keep his cool despite the smirk sent his way. He wasn’t in the mood for this bawdy talk. “He should start by pretending he’s mute.”

Shumway and Santos burst into laughter. Lukacevic gritted his teeth. The rest of their patrol would be a lot of fun today… but if the guy could just give him the silent treatment and stay quiet, Bellamy might succeed in _not_ punching him.

“Hey, Blake, you’re still on for that shift change?” Santos murmured before they went different ways.

“Sure.” Bellamy discreetly stowed in his pocket the ration Santos gave him in exchange and walked away.

 

*

 

As long as they could remember, Bellamy and Octavia had always slept in the same bed. The only exceptions being when one of them was sick, hurt or grounded. Bellamy hated sleeping alone, even though his little sister was _not_ a calm sleeper. When she turned once again that evening, Bellamy sighed and nudged her. She immediately faced him and snuggled closer. When she couldn’t sleep, she had to distract herself and that usually meant whispering to him.

“Your girlfriend, Melinda, do you love her?”

Bellamy froze and frowned. “I don’t know… I like her, she’s nice.”

“Nice? That’s all?”

“What do you want me to say?”

“Well, how is she, really? You said she was pretty and nice, that she knew how to grow plants and that she worked in Agro. That can’t be all. Come on Bel, I want to hear more about _real_ people.” Their mother had always lots of stories to tell about mythology and history, her passions, but they nearly knew them all now.

He sighed and covered his eyes with his forearm. “She’s… introvert but funny when she’s comfortable with you, peaceful but smart, a little anxious and guarded… She knows a lot about Earth, especially nature, and her dream is to see a waterfall.”

“Ok, she sounds nice. Will you live with her?” Octavia asked quickly.

“What? What the hell brought this on, O?”

“You spend a lot of time with her, I just thought…”

“I’m not even twenty-two yet and I’ve only been with Melinda for six months. I’m not gonna live with her anytime soon.”

“But do you want to? Mom said you would make a good couple. You’d have your own apartment and…”

In the darkness, Bellamy felt around to cup Octavia’s cheek and leaned his forehead against hers. “O, I’m not gonna leave you, never and for no-one.”

“Don’t be silly, you can’t stay single just for me,” she muttered.

“I’ll find another way.”

“Would you… would you tell her, about me? Do you think she would tell anyone?”

“She wouldn’t,” he responded immediately, a bit surprised by his own certainty.

“Then… I could meet her?” Octavia asked, excited at the prospect. “Do you think she would like me?”

“She would love you,” he murmured, stroking her cheek. “She would ask you if you liked the strawberries and tell you everything you want about Earth.” Feeling his sister quivered with eagerness, he added, forlorn: “But I can’t tell her.”

“Why?”

“Because it would be too dangerous. I can’t tell her, unless I’m sure that it’s worth it, that we’ll stay together. It’s the only way to protect you… and her too.”

Octavia moved back and with a voice laced with heavy disappointment, she answered: “Yeah, everything about me is dangerous.”

“Octavia…” His sister turned around and he raised himself on one elbow to lean above her and murmured: “O, listen to me. The day I decide to spend my life with someone will be the day I present that someone to you, and I’ll make damn sure that you won’t be left behind, I promise you that.” No answer came. With a heavy heart, he squeezed her shoulder and went back to sleep.

 

*

 

“Seriously? You got in a fight with a co-worker?”

Bellamy adjusted his arms under his chin. “You can’t call that a fight, we barely exchanged a few punches.”

Melinda was straddling his hips as he lied down on his front, shirtless. Her back rubs were good. “You could have been floated, Bellamy!”

“Nah, it was training,” he dismissed.

She pressed harder. He groaned. With a heavy sigh, she leaned down to kiss his cheek and nuzzle his temple. “Be more careful, please.”

“Aren’t you going to ask me why?”

She snorted and rubbed the back of his neck with her thumbs. “Nah, I can guess. He insulted either your mother or me.”

“… How the hell did you know?”

She chuckled and kissed his spine. “Men are predictable.”

He shook his head, closed his eyes and hummed as she pressed at the right places. Her fingers worked their magic and he was soon relieved of any tension. She didn’t stop however, forcing him to put his arms along his torso and rubbing them too. With the sound of the sea she had turned on, he was ready to fall asleep. He tugged on her hand until she took the hint and lie down on her side next to him. They snuggled into each other.

“Before I forget,” Melinda murmured, “I have a problem with my jacket. Do you think your mom would have time to–“

“Sure.”

“Great. She’s one of the best. I could give y–“

He kissed her to stop her from talking. “Mel, you gave us enough,” he murmured against her lips. She was giving him a chance to pay her back, he wasn’t going to let it go. His mum would probably appreciate the opportunity too: owing debts or what she felt like it made her uncomfortable.

Melinda smiled softly. “Ok.”

As he watched her close her eyes, Bellamy wondered how he was supposed to know where their relationship was going. Was it strong enough for him to truly commit? Did he want that? Octavia will be sixteen soon. Could they really hide her indefinitely without help from someone else? Could she hold on? Staying in their little room and only knowing two people was getting on her nerves, he knew that. She was acting more jaded and indifferent, protecting herself from more disappointment. He didn’t like it at all. He had to keep his sister happy…

 

*

 

Home was desperately empty.

His mother had been floated one week ago and his sister sent to the skybox. He lost everything. After doing so well for a year… he messed up.

Bellamy closed his eyes and clenched his fists. Pissed at himself and the world, he took off his janitor jacket and T-shirt. He kneeled on the floor for some push-ups. He had to busy himself or he was going to get crazy.

At the twenty-fifth, a knock at the door distract him. No one had came by since that day, not unless they were guards… which wasn’t really different than before, his mom and he had always made sure that no-one came unexpected.

He groaned and didn’t bother to dress before opening the door abruptly. He froze. Melinda quickly looked up from his bare chest to his face. “What the hell are you doing here?” he croaked.

“I think we should talk.”

That wasn’t his opinion, but she had her chin raised and a combative expression on. It was rare, but she wasn’t going to take no for an answer. He sighed loudly and stepped aside.

Once the door closed, they stood in front of each other awkwardly. He didn’t bother putting a shirt on, she had seen him in less. Melinda glanced around but there was nothing to see. Everything reminding him of his family had been taken away. There was only a table between them. Melinda took her hand off her pocket and put something down on the surface. A strawberry.

“It’s for you,” she only said.

He glanced from her to the berry and didn’t move, didn’t say anything. Was she mocking him?

“The guards went through my rooms that day but Jasper and Monty warned me in time. I hid the plants… well… I got rid of them. It’s the last strawberry.”

His mother had taken the blame for the plant, saying she got it by herself. She had nothing to lose after all. It was a bit too convenient that Bellamy’s girlfriend was working in Agro though and it was only expected that the guard suspected her. Bellamy hadn’t even thought about it. He hadn’t thought about Melinda much, expecting her to keep her distance and never look back at him, just like most of his acquaintances, and it had been perfectly fine by him. Apparently, it was too much to ask.

“I don’t need your pity,” he spat out.

She winced but kept her chin high. “Good, because it’s not pity.”

He pushed away the table separating them, stepped in her personal space and shouted: “I don’t need your silly love either! Are you stupid? Don’t you get I only used you and your naivety? How gullible can you be?”

“I know that!” She shouted back, straightening up and holding her ground. “I’m _not_ stupid! I always knew you didn’t love me, Bellamy! I know you used me!” Tears were framing her eyes but she kept them at bay. “You don’t get to belittle my feelings when they are what kept your sister happy!”

Bellamy paused. “You knew?”

“I knew there was something going on. When Jasper and Monty told me… it suddenly started to make sense.” She snorted. “I was nearly relieved that you weren’t in some sort of fraud…” She shook her head and said softly: “I’m sorry, Bellamy.”

He sighed and turned around. “Just go, Melinda.” A touch on his wrist and fingers holding his stopped him. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“I don’t care.” She walked in front of him and stroked his face. “I love you Bell, that won’t change and I won’t regret it. I don’t pretend to know how you feel now but I just wanted to say, if that can help, that I forgive your for everything.”

He snorted. “That’s not my main concern.”

“I know. I’m just trying to help, somehow.” She fidgeted as he stared at her without answering. “Is there something else I can do for you? … A hug?” She opened her arms widely.

His first instinct was to reject her, to tell her to leave him alone, but he was by himself since a week now, when he had never been before. He had always shared those rooms; he had never gone without any physical contact for more than a day…

So, he stepped closer, pressed her against the wall and grabbed her thighs to lift her and allow her to lock her legs around his waist. She hugged him tightly and ran her fingers through his hair. He breathed her scent against her neck and closed his eyes. For a long moment, they stayed like this in silence. He never had been so grateful that she knew and liked to stay quiet.

Then a heavy knock at the door startled them. “Inspection! Open up!”

They groaned in tandem. Bellamy let her go and went to grab his T- shirt. “They probably saw you come in.”

“Fucking stalkers,” she muttered. She threw herself at the strawberry and grabbed him by the collar. “Eat it.” There was no time to protest. He complied. Melinda kissed his closed lips fleetingly and whispered “May we meet again” before turning away. They both knew they had to stay away from each other from then on, for their own good.

He was swallowing, making disappear any illegal mark, when Melinda opened the door brusquely, grumbling dramatically: “Can’t even scream at him in peace.”

“Miss, you shouldn’t stay alone with that guy,” a guard said. It was Lukacevic.

Melinda snorted. “Please. He’s a dick and a liar, not a murderer or a rapist. And _I_ like to make things clear when I break up with someone. Can I go now?”

“Show us what’s inside your pockets, please.”

Melinda obeyed while rolling her eyes. They let her go.

Bellamy sat cross-legged on the table as they rummaged through the empty room.

“I guess you’re not such a perfect boyfriend, Blake!” Lukacevic mocked. “She’ll probably need someone to comfort her…”

“From what I got from her hysterics, she’s pretty much done with guards,” Bellamy answered disinterestedly.

“Now you give us a bad name,” Lukacevic growled.

“Pretty sure you don’t need help with that.” Bellamy ignored the glare and his ex-colleagues until they were gone, even during the frisk. When the door closed behind them, he licked his lips. That was his last taste of a forbidden fruit…

 

*

 

It was the first time in months that Bellamy came in this part of the Ark. His supervisors obviously had instructions since he had never been sent to Agro Station, but one of his colleagues was sick and he finally got the opportunity to see some of the plants again. Soy was pretty boring but it was greenery, definitely a different sight from what he was used to.

He was sweeping at the end of rows of plants when two people came in.

“Did you hear about the Griffins?”

“Yes. Is it a cursed week or something? First Jasper and Monty, now the Doc’s daughter…” Bellamy straightened up. He wasn’t imagining things. That was Melinda.

“And her father! Can you believe he got floated for treason? I wonder what he did.”

“Stay away from secrets. It only brings trouble.”

“Yeah, I guess... Anyway, thanks for taking my shift, see you tomorrow.”

“Say hi to Monty’s parents for me. I’ll visit them later.”

Silence settled and Bellamy continued his work, believing that the two left. Footsteps coming closer proved him wrong.

“Bellamy?”

He stood up and nodded at his ex-girlfriend. “Melinda.”

She glanced at his equipment but didn’t comment. “How are you?”

“Fine. You?”

“Fine, yeah… Well, you probably heard…”

“About Monty and his friend? You told me something like that would happen.”

She snorted. “I wish I was wrong.”

“What are their chances at revision?”

“Good if they mature a bit in the skybox. They’re smart kids but they do such dumb stuff. Jasper especially, I wouldn’t be surprised if he put his foot in his mouth at the trial.” She nudged her glasses higher on her nose. “What about you? Do you… Can you visit your sister…?”

“No,” he answered curtly. He should be able to, since they were related and she wasn’t in isolation, but that was the way they decided to punish him: by taking away everything he cared for. He went back to his sweeping.

“Oh.” She took the hint. “I–I should let your work.”

They worked silently. When she crossed his path, he remained on the side to let her pass. When he came near her, she walked away to let him clean where she was. It was a strange dance done in utter silence. Melinda finally disappeared in the office… the office he had to clean now. Their timing sucked. She didn’t say a word either when he stepped into the smaller room. He took out the trash and wiped the shelves. When he swept the floor, Melinda moved her chair. Then he was done and ready to go.

“Bellamy,” she called as he touched the door’s handle. “Can I do anything for you?” she asked earnestly.

He sighed. “You should have moved on.”

“That’s my business, Bell, and it won’t happen anytime soon.” She stood up, walked to him and lightly stroked his cheekbone. “The only thing I regret is that I never even met your sister.”

“I told her about you,” he blurted out, “when I gave her the strawberry plant… She would have liked to meet you too.”

“Would you have told me–”

“ _Don’t._ ”

“Yeah, sorry, it’s a stupid question. Sorry.” She moved back.

“Mel…”

“No, I get it Bellamy. You love her, you did everything you could for her… I get that, I do.”

“Yeah, and I fucked up. I’m not a reference.”

“You gave her nearly sixteen happy years. It couldn’t last forev–”

He pushed her against the wall and kissed her abruptly. “Stop talking,” he mumbled against her lips while he tugged on her shirt.

“Gladly. I was just waiting for you to get on with the program.”

They undressed quickly, nothing sexy about it, just plain urge. She pushed away furniture and he lifted her on the desk. With a hand on her ass, he kept her against his hips while his other hand cupped one of her breasts.

“Fu–ck, I miss your hands,” she mumbled against his lips.

He smirked. “Just my hands?”

“You know what I mean. I’m trying not to bother you with my mushy feelings Bell’, work with me here.” He smiled against her skin and rewarded her with a long kiss. She ran her fingers through his hair and hummed. “You let it grew.” He bit lightly on her neck and sucked. “Shit, of course. Your mom was cutting it. Sorry, sorry. I’ll shut up now.”

His hips pressed between her legs and she moaned softly. If nothing else, he had missed that.

 

*

 

His hands were sweating and his breath was too fast but his mind was clear. He had made his choice. It wasn’t much of one. Octavia was his sister, his responsibility. He’ll do what was necessary, for her.

Shumway had told him where to find the Chancellor, at a window on Agro Station where he would have a good view of the dropship launch. He would be alone, his guards staying in the next room.

As he stepped into the hallway, Bellamy breathed in deeply and took his gun from his belt. He was quiet, walking slowly. He knew what he had to do and there was no failure, no hesitation allowed. Jaha had his back turned to him. He was twelve feet away.

“Chancellor, here is your tea…” A voice came from the other end of the corridor. There was a corner between them, Bellamy couldn’t see or be seen but he knew that voice. Melinda.

No hesitation allowed. For Octavia. As Jaha turned on his left, away from him, Bellamy shot. He didn’t stay to watch the Chancellor crumble. He heard Melinda's scream and something fell to the floor, but he was already leaving. As he closed the door behind him, he caught her eye and saw her horrified expression as she recognized him. He hid the gun under his clothes and quickly went back to Shumway.

It was done. He’ll be able to protect Octavia on Earth. That was all that matter. He gritted his teeth and repeated it once again, until the urge to hit a wall (or, more satisfactory, hit Shumway against the wall) dimmed enough.

 

*

 

Bellamy watched Clarke leave the dropship, letting him alone in front of the screen and Jaha. She had managed to get him forgiven for his attempted murder. It was a heavy burden lifted from his shoulders.

“Is there something else you’d like to talk about, Mr Blake?” The Chancellor asked.

Bellamy hesitated but finally shook his head. “Who should I send next?”

“Mr Blake, I’ve a message for you from Miss Melinda Jung,” Jaha said sternly.

Bellamy froze in his attempt to get out of his chair. “Why is she not the one to give it to me?” He asked but he already knew…

“She was one of the 320 volunteers for the Culling,” Jana announced solemnly. Bellamy’s hand gripped the chair tighter. “That and the fact that she contributed to save my life by slowing down the blood loss... convinced me to grant her request.” Bellamy gritted his teeth, unable to tell the Chancellor to fucking get to the point. He was taking way too much time with unfolding a stupid piece of paper. “This is written from her hand.” He moved it closer to the camera until the writing was legible.

Bellamy left in a rush without answering anyone’s call.

 

_When is a monster not a monster?_

_When you love it._

**Author's Note:**

> This last quote is from _Caitlyn Siehl_ and also makes reference to Bellamy calling himself a monster in 1x08. 
> 
>  
> 
> You can find me on tumblr: lunaemoth.tumblr.com


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